"Trying"

If unconditional love comes from deep inside you, it doesn’t really make sense to “try” to love people unconditionally, since it kind of goes against the entire point… you can’t force yourself to love anybody, just like you can’t force yourself to stop.

On the other hand, there’s also quite a lot of thought involved in getting rid of society’s definitions of love which get ingrained in pretty much everyone’s minds from early childhood already, as well as your own insecurities and any unmet needs you may have. This is where the “trying” part comes in. So, it’s not really about trying to love unconditionally, it’s more about trying to solve your internal issues so that you become more capable of unconditional love. Everyone has some issues, so you’ll never be perfect at it, but I think humans can actually get reasonably close.

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About The Meaning Of Love

I write about love because I have always been deeply bothered by society’s definitions of love and how most people talk about love, and everything they associate with it. I have given this topic years of thought, and always found it extremely hard to explain my thoughts in actual words. How do you explain something as abstract and unexplainable as love? Sometimes the topic comes up on forums and I always respond to people as best I can. At first I was terrible at getting my point across, but after enough attempts I actually started to make some sense to myself. Then one day I realized I had typed quite a lot, and I never seem to run out of steam on this topic, so why not write some full articles about it? Click my little picture on the left to see all my articles.

24 thoughts on “"Trying"

  1. this is making me sad because it’s making me paranoid that i dont have “real love” for my boyfriend of a year and its like the most painful thing ever to wonder about!!! but why would i be so hurt if i didnt love him? ahhhh

  2. I have finally realise after all these yr’s of meeting new partner’s etc.. That in actual fact they were never love, they were,Lust, lonelyness, dependent on them and fear of them too… But now i know the person i have met i do honestly and utterly LOVE with all my heart as i just know it’s a different feeling altogether this time they’re aint lust there (but don’t get me wrong that side of thing’s is nice but it aint the reason that’s a added bonus) No fear of him i was’nt lonely (infact i was’nt looking either and that’s what they say love happen’s when u least expect it) when i met him and most deff not dependent on him and i alway’s just want him happy and if it mean’s sacrificing a little time together sometime’s as he’s tired or at work or spending time with other’s thats fine by me as i got all the time in the world with him’HE’S MY SOUL MATE’. He most deffinately aint my trophy either im proud YEAH to have him on my arm but i don’t like to show him off and brag about him. I aint with him cos he’s a trophy .. Im with him because i adore him and he make’s me laugh he’s kind honest, opionated, so beautiful his eyes are like a sky in the day with a star in i fall into them every single day i can see us in the future together through his eye’s as we grow old.. Sitting there together ~(even thou we maybe old and wrinkly) still the beauty flow’s from deep within as beauty shine’s from inside when your in love .. I also know the difference because all these year’s i alway’s felt there was something missing a piece to the jigsaw and now i know it was my love that was missing my soul mate id found him at long last all complete now and loving every single moment of it… If i was too die now id die complete as i had everything id ever wanted not money not material just pure blissfull love … HAPPYNESS ,LOVE, FRIENDSHIP WHAT MORE COULD ANYONE ASKED FOR I’VE WON THE LOTTERY ON ALL THREE HERE …XXX

  3. THIS is the REAL meaning of love.

    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

  4. WHY CAN 2 SEPERATED PEOPLE BE IN LOVE BUT YET THE LADY IS WORRIED ABOUT HIS CHILDREN AND YET HE IS NOT ABOUT HERS, HE’S GOT THE YOUNGEST OF 14 WHY IS THAT A PROBLEM FOR HER IF SHE SAY SHE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM JUST AS MUCH.
    WHY IS THAT THE PROBLEM?

  5. I was walking around nose in the air full of love…. well I thought I was in love, when I just had a lot of love for this person. Me being a child of God I love everybody but being in love with someone is completely different. I don’t think I will ever find real love the world is on a whole different level. …

  6. Wow! I’m impressed. This is a really cool place to vent and take in some really good knowledge.

  7. THIS IS FOR WILLOW,I LOVE WAT U POSTED. I HAVE THAT ON MY FRIDGE CORINTHIANS IS DEF. MY FAVORITE, ITS SO TRUE WAT IT SAYS ABOUT LOVE.

  8. There’s this guy that I’ve known since childhood. As teenagers (approx. 10 years ago) we tried to make a relationship work, but never succeeded. We went on in life with unresolved feelings. We live in a small town so we ran into eachother pretty often. We’d walk pass one another for years and acted as if the other never existed. Not a single glance back, or a wave hello.

    He went on with life and had 3 beautiful children. Got married 4 years ago which recently ended in divorce.

    Let me add that he also invited me to his wedding. He just walked up to me one day handed me a piece of something. I never looked it till later that night and realized what it was.

    I found my BF shortly after talking to the guy from my past. I’ve been with my BF for 9 years. My BF and I have been through a lot together. We have 2 children and we lost our 3rd child 5 years ago and recently went through a miscarriage of 18 weeks. My BF is a wonderful guy. He does have a drinking problem that leads to arguments. Nothing physical, but after putting up with it for so long I realized that it’s a huge problem.

    I broke up with my BF to get some space and to think if thats what I really wanted for the rest of my life. During that time, I ran into the guy from my past. We talked and ended up sharing our unresolved feelings.

    Prior to this I had mixed emotions about being with my BF once. That once was when i received the wedding invite. I cried and thought it was crazy, but I got over it. I contiued to love my BF with everything in me. I was totally faithful in everyway.

    I told my ex-BF about the guy from my past and how we were talking. He cried and told me that he would change. I said no. I need to do this on my own. I assured him that I did not want to be with neither of them.

    The guy from my past shared that he has always loved me. His wife knew of me and that was the reason he’d never say hello when we’d see eachother around. He tried to respect her feelings. And he never wanted to be a problem between me and my BF.

    Now that we talked, and I know how he has felt all this time. I don’t know where my feelings stand. I thought my feelings for him was gone, until now. I do love my ex-BF, but find myself thinking of the guy from my past a whole lot.

    I tried to stop talking to guy from my past but everytime I’ve tried I found myself crying for days; until I’d hear from him again.

    They are both good men at heart, awesome fathers. One has a drinking problem and the other is a felon. Both claim and has proven their love for me.

    What do I do? Do you think my feelings for the guy of my past is just curiousity?

  9. Stop feeling ashamed for having positive feelings (love, affection, whatever) towards human beings. Love is a good thing, therefore loving someone cannot ever be ‘wrong’ or bad in any way – which also means that loving more than one person cannot possibly be wrong or bad either.

    This doesn’t mean you have to pursue relationships with everyone you love. That’s irrelevant. I don’t know what you should do with regards to the relationship part. You can figure that out yourself. But you do need to stop feeling like your love is somehow a ‘problem’ that you need to get rid of. It’s not. Embrace it.

  10. On this one your right on. As caring about anyone you never know? But to care to find out what their issues are will always take time! But the joy is finding out and sometimes not!!!! As we are people we tend to look to hard but to step back we find what we need. So in passing no one should ever give up on believing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Nobody should ever have to explain wht love is because the experience is different for everybody. We always want validation for how we feel, because we don’t want ppl to judge how we feel. Its ok to feel free, comforted, blessed, beautiful and in love, and if sumtimes u feel angry, jealous, pain and frustrated in love thts cool too. Thts why its called being “in love” because u r the only 1 in it so no 1 outside can judge it without your invitation.

  12. i grasped everything u said.i believe everything.in short u are saying there is no reason to love to love unconditional.i was in a marr for 10 years.have two kids and den change.it sucked this person started dealing with all the issuses affecting her.i was working out my life providing and maybe i caused some of the problems but is as u said that its something u dont need to work at its natural like living itself.am separated now.after about 1 and half i met someone else and everything fit like a well organised desk.until now where that person isalso experiencing there pain of there past and present life.every time i love i become the victim of it.everytime it happens i learn more and more.i said to this person i fell for u for no reason and i cant find a reason why. i dont want anything from u. jus to spend the remaining time here with u.i accept u for who u are.i once asked on face book if anybody believes in fairy tale love 75% of persons ans. there is no such thing.i think there are few people remaining who really believes and is willing.maybe thats the worlds biggest problem no one really loves anybody maybe is jus an arrangement to keep going.or an excuse to get by.am at a point where am still going to keep trying.cause i faith in her.but the biggest thing is wat is to b will b and there is nothing anybody can do to prevent this.thats why i say to my friends love like there is no tomorrow cause there isnt any

  13. I read wht all of u hve said nd i realy wnt sme advice i had a bf nd he is nt loyal 2 me bt no matter wht he does i cnt let go of hm nd it seems lke nthng is that love or wht i,m confuse nd its so hard to get hm out of my mind i,m thnkng about hm all the time

  14. Love is to me is “God the Father and Jesus the Son and The holy Spirit”. Jesus is A prime example of LOVE. The only person who know what LOVE is. He gives it unconditionally. We as Humans could try to love but the fact still remains… He is the only one who knows the true meaning of love. No matter how I try to give it, its just not good enough. I could show acts of love such as kindness, like respecting my elders, but we are selfish most of the time.

  15. I would say that I have tryumphed over all emotions except love, it is amazing to see what it can do to an individual, and to see to what measures one will take to have such a thing as “love”.
    Love is like trust, it is not earned, it is not given, it is not a reward, but it an understanding of all emotions in wich a single person has and understanding why that person did what he/she did and excepting what they have done.
    If I were to give any advice that would make you a happier person I would ask you to read Four agreements By don miguel ruiz, if you want to be happy and you want to live life to the fullest and enjoy every thing and every one please take some time and read this small book.

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