What are the different types of love?

There aren’t any different types of love. There is only love. The different “types” that people perceive are either love mixed with other things, or different ways of expressing love.

For example, the typical example of unconditional love – a mother’s love for her child – can be a good example of the purest form of love. I say “can be” because not all mothers actually love their children unconditionally, and some don’t love them at all, but at least in theory this can give you a good idea of what I mean when I talk about love.

Then there’s what people call “brotherly love“, which as far as I’m concerned is just the same thing as unconditional love. It’s really no different from the mother and child thing. You could argue it can be different in intensity – as in, the mother loves the child more than friends love each other – and I would say that may be true in some cases, but won’t always be true. Like I said, some mothers don’t even love their children at all, so who is to say two friends can’t have a very strong love for each other? They can. And that doesn’t make them homosexual either, by the way.

Erotic love” is the one everyone is always talking about. If you love someone and are sexually attracted to them, then that’s exactly what you are: you love the person, and you’re also sexually attracted to them. Two seperate concepts. This is why it’s entirely possible (and quite common) to be sexually attracted to someone without actually loving the person at all. A lot of people get confused with this and think that if they love someone, they must also be sexually attracted to them, and the other way around too: if they are attracted to the person, they think it means that they love the person. Two seperate things – try not to confuse them.

Someone who is in an abusive relationship may actually love the person he/she is being abusive towards (at least to some extent), but may not have the mental strength to control his/her urges, or may have trouble expressing it because of unresolved psychologial issues. This same problem can be present with parent and child relationships – the parent may truly love the child, but because of some unmet psychological needs earlier in their life, or some other issues, may have trouble expressing it and may end up being verbally or even physically abusive when the child doesn’t want to do what they tell them to do.

What do you think? What other “types” of love can you think of, and what would be a better way to explain what they consist of? Post a comment below!


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About The Meaning Of Love

I write about love because I have always been deeply bothered by society’s definitions of love and how most people talk about love, and everything they associate with it. I have given this topic years of thought, and always found it extremely hard to explain my thoughts in actual words. How do you explain something as abstract and unexplainable as love? Sometimes the topic comes up on forums and I always respond to people as best I can. At first I was terrible at getting my point across, but after enough attempts I actually started to make some sense to myself. Then one day I realized I had typed quite a lot, and I never seem to run out of steam on this topic, so why not write some full articles about it? Click my little picture on the left to see all my articles.

36 thoughts on “What are the different types of love?

  1. I have been thinking for past one hour now! I have girlfriend called lucia.she have been helpful to me in all ways. We met in january 2011 & we are schooling together.she has been my best friend i ever had in my life.she just seem to understand me in every area in my life and the love i have for her is more than the one sister would show to his brother.but i put it base on friendship and i told her once we finish our o level this year we would move it to the next level and keep sex out. Untill when we are married and i dont kown wheter our plan is on the rigt track

  2. What is the type of love that means, “to love someone but to save some love for yourself?”
    Very important to know because I see many men and women, especially women, fall in love and lose themselves in the other person and then if the relationship does not continue, they really do not know who they are. They have defined themselves by the other person and now have a hard time functioning or moving forward in their lives. To love hard is one thing, but you can love hard and unconditionally and still not lose yourself. What is the word of this definition? I really need to know to help my friends and some family members who are drowning.

  3. When you love someone make shore to never hurt them. Always let the person you love know how special they are to you. Never think you know how the person you love feels, because they could be angry and you could never know.Make shore you ask the person you how there day is going.

  4. Reading your article and everyones comments has got me thinking. What type of love do I have for my boyfriend.I agree with the article I love him in any way. If he didnt have anything Id still love him. I’m not picky with my boyfriend and I actaully want him to have fun. I don’t get jealous at things he does of places he go most of the time I worry about him and wondering if he’s okay.

  5. to love someone is a good thing to do no matter the condition of thing, becaure love is base in trust,when there is trust between the lovers will continous to follow

  6. Love is life and it should be valued and cared about.
    Love makes u do things u would never do.

  7. I have enormous unconditional love both for my siblings and some one I truly love but I always end up being taking advantage of. People don’t truly love me the way I love them. Unfortunately for me, I ended up marrying a man I have no erotic or romantic love for. Life has been hell ever since but I try to endure that. The worst punishment I have is marrying a man I do not love because I’m such a passionate lover. I have never been happy in the marriage. Sincerely, I need a man I truly love, I really want to be happy in my life.

  8. love is nothing it is satisfiying our life for doing good things for other to kept peace.

  9. Love means bearing pains of another,sharing sorrows & happines together.l really love your article,but my own problem is that a guy l really love want to date bcos of sex & money,what can l do?

  10. ok so I kinda have a different question my sons dad the man I am with tells me he loves me but his actions are different when I was pregnant he kept saying that’s not my baby he left me constantly alone ( keep in mind I paid all bills untill march of 2011 from nov 2009). At 5 months pushed me I fractured my foot baby was ok went straight to the hospital at 6 month had to complelty pack & unpack (except he hauled to car fulls to the house I had to empty the loads, all in the mean time doing litterally everything, have my son ( he was great in the hospital) get home he sleeps a minium of 14 hours a day (no job) then goes & gets on computer or plays video games dosnt help me I also had to move everything out of our spair room because they moved in 2 days home from the hospital no help he went to sleep, 7 take care of baby , still no help march his brother didn’t pay rent so we had to move out ( he finally gets a sales job don’t make much & he was gone from 8 am to 9-10 at night, had to pack & haul & unpack by myself with 2 1/2 month old baby he didntt even bother to help I asked him to bring my dresser in ( I had already brought his in) waited two weeks & finally did it myself, he is still like that, he’s hiit me (slaped but I still consider that hit) threw a half full pepsi bottle at me head ( had a welt the size of the bottom of the bottle it was a 1 litter) he kinda helps with his son now at 13 months but still expects me to do everything ( he’s unemployed again)and dose nothing but sit on my computer or my playstation all day & then wants to make me feel like shit if something isn’t done or if I don’t jump to his wants or needs I have no time for myself, don’t get me wrong he has his good parts sometimes but still he won’t even talk to me about anything except sex and his hobbies, I love him but I don’t think he loves me what do u think ?

  11. To Tiffany

    Girl, that is no love from his site. He is using you. By the look of things he neither loves himself and his life. I have been in a abusive relationship for almost 2 decates. You need to think of yourself and your baby. Everybody deserves to be happy and if you are around someone who doesn’t make you truly happy you need to move away from that person. I had so much love in me but because of the situation I was in I didn’t know what it was anymore. Untill I got out of the relationship and discovered an amazing feeling of love for life, myself and others. Try to find yourself in surroundings of good people not like that man you are talking about. Things won’t change, because he knows you are weak and so he will continue to make use of you and disrespect you. I think you don’t even love yourself really because you allow someone to tread you like that. It sounds hash, but because I did not love myself I believed my partner could tread me anyhow too. I know you are not happy. You need to learn to love yourself….it is not easy but you need space to find out who you really are and you need time for yourself and be in good surroundings to start to learn to love yourself. Also, you need to show your child a good example. If your child sees how you get treated he thinks that is right and he would grow up not loving himself and others too….he won’t know how to tread someone with respect. You are a good person and you need to step up for yourself. You have a long life in front of you and you deserve respect like anybody else. Don’t loose yourself by staying with this man. There are many man outside who do know what respect is and are able to love you for who you are, are able to care and make you feel happy about yourself. Its a big step but you can do it. If you love yourself you can give so much more back to your son and other people around you. Find your happiness girl…you deserve it!

  12. Scared to love again due to disapointmnt three times,and av got to get married, what do i do?

  13. Love is a feeling beyond explanation but often neglected of its true meaning, nowadays its used just for the sake of telling someone to give them some piece of mind.

    The chivalry of Love is like opportunity it knocks once, and if you have not got the good heart in seeing its true worth, then you will never experience the beauty in what it is intended for.

    The price of loving somebody is truly a high cost, and in the process there will be collateral damage.

    There is no explanation or excuses or reasons, When you find Real Love, it is the pieces in your life thats been missing that falls majically into place, and you are still you.

    If there is doubt, then love isnt what you got.

  14. You really helped me out. but my luv was like this. i was not jealous on my gal, i was not doubting her. i trusted her more then me. but the only thing is. the relationship was far. and now she dosent trust me. i don’t know the reason. i feel i am not a good person to her. the thing is i have lot of girls as my friend. and everybody are elder to me. might be my gal didn’t trust me because of this. and now with fully cheered m i am trying for another girl. because am a take it easy guy. and hearty thanks for your post. it made me 2 improve more.

  15. Its deep. I have a frnd from the last three years. She is very careful about me in everything like my hobbies my style of work and etc. Bt i dont knoW SHE LOVE ME OR NOT?

  16. today love is only motivated love not a true love. girls seeing money and background.
    boys seeing girls structure with sex.
    after motivate complete both are search another one new love.
    finally both person arrange marriage. worst contact boys and girls set the new beautiful look appearance good yearning wood-bees.
    that is true love in the current generation girls and boys.

  17. is it necessary that the person whom u love he/she also must love u in return

  18. Agape love: This is per say an unconditional love. You don’t love someone because of what you expect from them but because of what, who and how they are. You must try and learn to love a person no matter what they turn out to be. try to make the best out of love. And always keep and eye on it too for as the saying goes “There is no true love without jealousy” Agape love does not look for offenses, does not consider wrongs, it is not jealous, it is the type of love that has a lot to do with religion and sincerity. No man can love to the fullest but only God can do so. But the authority has been given to every man to show love to a fellow man. Love is not just what, but how much, how much you try to protect each other from the vices of life, from the intruding nature of fake and unneeded love. Don’t love because you are sexually attracted to each other, but because you care about the others happiness, well being and psychological health. Try to maintain only one type of love: the Agape or unconditional love and the world would be a better place for you and i. God’s love is unconditional and superlative, nothing anywhere can dislodge it. So why not also try to learn form the master. Remember, no one knows human heart, if the love is actually there or not. Wealth cannot buy love, trust, forgiveness and confidence are one of the pillars of love. Every one needs that emotional backup, so please if you find yourself in a position to love, be sincere to the law of love. Try to give you love life some respect and decorum by making use of the Virgin love provided to us by mother nature.

  19. shana love kim do you acept
    shana and kj forever
    yeah…yeah…
    love me love me say that you love
    pls..
    evangeline…./
    bye mwamwa
    chup chup mahal ko kayo

  20. this is for you mommy
    happy valentine
    love you mommy
    di kita kakalimutan
    promise
    i love you and
    my brothers
    and daddy.
    mwamwa…/
    chupchup…/ mahal ko kayo…..
    hug and kisses for all of you all

  21. love is like a rose
    kasi kapag nalanta
    mawawala
    kaya wag mo na hintayin
    na mawala ok

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